Steroid driven rage.

I have just completed a course of oral steroids. It is a wonder that more violent crimes are not committed by us that are being treated with oral steroids. I usually try to go into hiding when these drugs are prescribed to save those around me from mental and physical harm. Not that I would intentionally harm someone, but these steroids could push a less stable person over the edge.

The rage that is invoked, is one that makes no sense later but is perfectly justified at the time.

Is that a legitimate defense  for the missteps of the last few weeks? I wonder.  I don’t know if I can tell my angry 15-year-old grandson that it was the drugs and make it stick [at least with a straight face] . He was the beneficiary of my over the top, but justified anger.  An angry teenager is difficult to convince of anything.

What I have found is that the steroids are like drink, they only remove the inhibitions to react to something that is usually kept in check. Then the mind-set is to allow action that is only dreamed of in the fantasy of retribution or fulfillment. On the other hand they can cause profound depression. I have been on both ends of this spectrum. Curling up in a fetal position is an option right now

This time, it was the anger and I was convinced to not “go hide” by Arnie [bad decision]. The timing was a perfect storm scenario. There was the planned surprise party with the preparations required for the influx of company. Then the trip to southern Utah during the extreme heat of the summer and the return to a house that had been inhabited by a not so committed housekeeper on vacation, then the rush to get ready for the annual trip inhibited the desire and need to get away. Unfortunately he is probably regretting that decision that now.

Why the steroids on top of all this confusion, when just the confusion and stress is enough to cause MS to flare?  I guess not being able to concentrate and the threatened tremors motivated the call to the doctor.

Now, I am in a house of partially deaf people and young children. The partially deaf are loud to compensate for their inability to hear themselves, they speak up to make sure all others don’t miss their important points.

A two-year old and an eight year old – quiet, not!! The two-year old is just a normal two-year old that has faulty and underdeveloped volume and impulse controllers. The eight year old has issues of independence and control. Independence and control over little brother and mothers meddling. Tomorrow is another day, I hope.

I need a Vacation – no seriously,………………………….. a vacation from vacation.

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