How many of us are worriers? We worry about things that will happen. We worry that things won’t happen. We worry about things we can’t control. We worry about things we can control. Basically our worries are about tommorow.

I ran across this saying, it was uncited so I can’t give credit. “We worry about tommorrow as if it were promised”. I pondered that and reread it then added a comma after tomorrow. Then it made more sense.

I had to go to Helena for a meeting, so I had a lot of time to contemplate the words.  it is a profound thought. Is tomorrow promised? Or just a desire. Ask anyone that has had close encounter with their own mortality, I think they would say it is only a desire.

At the back of my mind echoed a thought I had heard often in my youth, “tomorrow is gift”

Think of it, a gift to be appreciated, to be enjoyed and have gratitude for. A gift is given without strings attached,  the only expectation is that it will be used to the benefit of the reciever.

All of you enjoy the gift you have been given. Tomorrow is not a promise, quit worrying about it.

Alone time

I spend a lot of time alone. I like being alone. I don’t like being lonely,  they are two different things. When I am working on a project, I enjoy the solitude of aloneness. Just me and my thoughts and at times my music or a good audio book. When I have someone there working on a different project in the same space I enjoy the quiet companionship. When there is another person in the same space though, there is a heightend awareness and readiness to be engaged. The ideal companion for sharing a space for projects is someone that is also engrossed in their own project.  loneliness is a harder thing to explane, it is a sense that you have nothing in common and you are left out because of it. I am lonley in a room of people that are all talking of doing things that I am not able to take part in. The visual of this is a man in a room of women talking about childbirth, or women in a room of men talking about their libido.  Outside of a few cursory questions it is hard to engage in any meaningful way. I try to be polite and sit quietly and not ask obviously stupid questions. If possible I try to avoid these situations, sometimes it is not possible though.

I was raised to think that there were no stupid questions, but have since come to know the signs that I have asked one. Eye rolling is one sign, so is the blank stare that shows total disbelief that it is not common knowledge and I am that unbelievably stupid.

Oh, well I need to figure out how to avoid that particular group in the future. I still have a hat to make.


My neighbor popped in this morning and needed to unburden. Her partner is in a job he hates, he is worrying him self skinny. Why? I wonder how many of do this, I my self worry my self fat, why? I can’t do anything about other people, I only control my self. I am at a loss as to why we as a species do this, it must be because we are “high functioning” mammals. makes a lot of sense doesn’t it .If being a “high functioning” mammal is a good thing then we should be happy, shouldn’t we? yet we aren’t.

Why do we complain about winter and then complain when it is summer? Why do we fret about things that are the natural order of things and we have no control? Maybe that is our control, I just get heartburn when I worry about things I can’t do anything about. Like the state of my neighbors partner’s job or the temperature outside . So, I won’t.

My mind is just wandering and doesn’t want to settle. I am supposed to be doing other things and yet here I sit wondering. This is not going to get the kitchen cleaned, nor is it going to make the dirt go away on the floors. I have a hat to make.

Do you know your Vitamin D?

I just read an article about Vitamin D. My niece a cancer survivor visited with her cancer doctor and he told her that she had extremely low Vitamin D levels. That could be the explanation for some of her symptoms.

I am aware of the need of sufficient Vitamin D  and the role it plays in Osteoporosis. I read the speculation on MS and Vitamin D. Multiple Sclerosis is more frequent in the northern tier of the earth where there is seasonally limited  sunshine, thereby a lack of Vitamin D.

I do have Osteoporosis. My osteoporosis is a consequence of living past menopause, not being physically active for many years due to Multiple Sclerosis [MS] and some things beyond my control. I take Vitamin D and Boneva for osteoporosis, my doctor says I am on the low-end of normal. That is a norm for me, I am on the low-end of normal in a lot of things.

This article says irritability is a symptom of Vitamin D deficiency, that would explain some things.  I have been like a bear  the last while, I am always growling about something. depression and anxiety are listed as a symptoms.

Many people who are deficient in vitamin D said that in the beginning, they thought their anxiety was caused by something else. Many of these people have been trying to treat depression and/or anxiety with antidepressants and other medications, but it turned out to be unsuccessful. In other words, if your mood problems are caused by vitamin D deficiency, the only way to treat these issues is to treat vitamin D deficiency first.    vitaminddeficiencysymptomsguide

 I have SAD [Seasonal Affect Disorder]. I need to be in the sun for my mental health and for the well-being of those around me. I live in Montana, the winters here are long. Not so dark, just too cold to play outside much. If I don’t have a sunny window I can sit in, then ………….BEWARE.  So I chalk my grumpiness to SAD, maybe it’s tied to both. Because I am a survivor of menopause and don’t make the Vitamin D like I used to and I am on the low-end of normal, Vitamin D deficiency could be the culprit. Then, because I don’t get out in the sun enough, my SAD could be the culprit. Maybe it is a destructive combination of the two. I have to explore this with the neurologist when I see her again.
With the concerns of skin cancer, there is a high use of sun block it even comes in clothes. With all of this sun blocking is there a decrease in the Vitamin D available to us? I can’t help but wonder. Are there more reports of diseases that are linked to Vitamin D deficiency? I would guess so.

Vitamin D is very important for overall health. It takes part in several important processes that take place in the body, some of which are closely related to the immune system. Numerous researches have proven that vitamin D is helpful in preventing diabetes, multiple sclerosis, cardiovascular disease, rickets, osteoporosis, osteomalacia, and certain types of cancer. It is also used as a part of therapy in patients who suffer from these problems.     vitaminddeficiencysymptomsguide

There are many things cited in this article including muscle cramps and fatigue, diabetes and cancer to weight retention.  Check your symptoms and check your Vitamin D.